I always wonder..
What is life?
How is life?
And, I don't know about other people, but I find those are very hard questions to answer. I find that thinking of the answers to those questions is consuming.
Lately, I started learning–realizing–that the best way to get the answers to those questions to go ahead and live the moment.
But, in general, I have a problem with this. Being me, I don't get to live the moment often. I think way too much to get the privilege of living the moment; the moment alone without the distractions of my thoughts.
I've been having immense difficulties at work lately. (Praise be to Allah, I resigned). I've been going through a difficult and nerve-wracking period of my life. I still am actually. On so many levels. And it honestly was hard to be happy. It's been very hard.
So, I found those questions popping up in my head more often than I would like them to. And those questions are harder and harder to explain when nothing seems positive.
Two weeks ago, before my resignation, there was a "National Day Special Story Time" in the library, where I used to work. And, even though I didn't think it would be fun at first; I thought it would be a burden, but it was the exact opposite. It was one of the most fun days of my life.
And the best part about that day is the after-gathering that Ghadeer, Wassan, Maha, Sumayah and I had in the park. It was so much fun I can't even describe it..
The beauty of it all is how spontaneous the whole thing was. We went there after grabbing junk food and dinner. We were together in one car with the music blasting our ears and we were actually laughing and enjoying our time. And I will always wish this could happen every now and the then. Because it honestly was the spontaneous kind of happy. The unplanned kind that you will forever appreciate and wait for.
We talked and laughed. We even took off our Abayas and rolled down the hill.. It's been such an amazing night with such amazing people that actually got me thinking afterward:
So, this what life is? This is how life is?
You just do what makes you happy and be with who makes you happy?
And that's it?
That's much simpler than I thought. Because I was way too busy trying to find the answer in tall the wrong places.
And the simplest answer to any question about living life is this:
"Living" is a feeling rather than an action.
Well, I think the two go together hand in hand.
But it is, eventually, a feeling.
Do what gives you that feeling. Whatever it is.
You just live your moment.
And stop the worry.
I just pray for more days like this one. Because this is how life becomes beautiful.
Friday, September 23rd of the year 2016 was a day to remember and never forget.
